Sooooooooo....it's been an interesting few weeks to say the least. I've been swamped at work and swamped at the gym so I haven't had a chance to post much at all. I guess what I have discovered in the past few weeks is that the dynamics of this competition are very much like the dynamics of other areas of life. There are those that push and push as hard as they can, every second of every workout. Then there are those that are afraid to push, so they rest on whatever excuses they have tendered for themselves. I understand both perspectives as I have been both places. I was the one for years who relied on the excuse that my knees couldn't handle working out but so hard. Man was I wrong. I've also been a competitive athlete, pushing myself to greater extents every single practice. So I get it. I know this program is hard. I have mornings when I am in extreme pain and I can't fathom getting up to go and workout, but I do it. I'm done with the excuses. I'm done with my own personal whining and inner complaining that has prevented me from accomplishing my goals for so many years. I turned over a new leaf in the past couple of days, and things are about to get very interesting.
The other issue that I am finding I have to deal with as this competition goes on is my suspicion of others. I was made fun of for years in school. When you spend that long with people whispering behind your back, it is hard to believe that it won't happen again. Until the start of this competition, I hadn't really opened up to many people since college. I do that on purpose because I don't want to get hurt. So I opened up to my team members seven weeks ago. I have had inclinations in the past few days that it may not have been the best idea to do so. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am perceiving things incorrectly. But I can't help but to feel the whispers behind my back. I've been examining that recently and I can't help but to wonder why.
I am a leader. I have always been and I will always be. I also expect a lot of people. I'm a perfectionist. I am also a bit of a control freak. I can be aggressive, but I am also a very, very loyal friend and I think I give pretty darn good advice. Once I trust you, and I know I can trust you, I would go to the ends of the Earth for you. However, once that trust is broken, it is damn near impossible to repair.
Perhaps my expecting so much of people is a detriment to me in this competition. I don't know. I worry about others. I worry about my friends, and as such I've worried about my team members. While I know that I can't change that personality trait of mine overnight, and I will continue to worry, I have to let go a bit as well. Not every one in this competition is going to be able to make the life changes they need to make to accomplish their goals in the next four months. I know they all have it in them, but as much as this is a weight loss journey it is also a journey of self-discovery. It is that second journey that is the most difficult for some, and the one that will take much longer to accomplish. Without accomplishing it however, the first journey will at some point hit a brick wall. I've had it happen before. It makes me sad that some may not accomplish what they want to accomplish over the next few weeks. I can't linger on that. I have to continue with my journey and just hope that they all come along.
So I'm amping up the workouts again for myself. I'll be at the gym twice a day, every day except for Saturdays (when I'll just be going in the morning for a good 3 hours) from now until the end of July. I'm down quite a bit of weight thus far, but I want things to pick up for a while. If you're interested in my schedule, I am going to try to figure out a way to post a calendar to this blog. So we'll see what I can get figured out here soon. In the meantime, I will be doing the Komen Race for the Cure on May 8th, and I will also be going to the Dominion River Rock Festival the weekend of the 15th. Can't wait for both of those.
We have our cooking lesson and our field day coming up so hopefully I will have more pictures from those. I will post pictures from the 10K this coming weekend!
Have a wonderful and fit week, ALL of you.
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Hey Liz - As with all of your posts, I found this one very interesting. I think this Be A Loser journey has presented challenges to each of us in a number of different ways. I don't know that it's fair to categorize the participants as those who go all out v. those who are afraid to push. We all started this competition with the same basic goals (being healthier and losing weight), but at very different places mentally and emotionally.
ReplyDeleteThere are those who were working out before the program and needed more structure, and those who hadn't seen the inside of a gym in years. This program is a little easier for those in the former category than the latter. Add to that the nutrition changes, physical ailments/challenges, and basically restructuring one's life -- those are major changes for most of us. There's a little bit of fear potential in each aspect.
As leaders, I think one of our roles is to try to meet people where they are and help them get over their personal speedbumps. That can be frustrating, especially when we can't really understand what the problem is. The bottom line is that the Nike approach doesn't work for everyone - some of us can't "just do it." Isn't the most important thing that everyone continues to show up, work hard and get what they want out of the program? It's like any marathon. Some people want to win it, but the majority are happy to be able to say they ran the race and didn't quit. They kept on until the end.
That's got to be good enough for us.
Luv ya!
Teri